I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
