Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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