He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
