Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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