About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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