Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize