I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
