he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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