he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
