I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
