well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
