How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
