so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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