just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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