Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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