I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can you repeat that, but with context?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
