So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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