Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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