White coat. Heels.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
