you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
