so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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