I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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