we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
