Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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