Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
