weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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