Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
