I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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