I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize