i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
