Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
