Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
