something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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