I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We named our party play list daddy issues
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
