im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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