Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
