I think my vagina is haunted
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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