friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
