never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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