I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
At least make sure they are 18
Why
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
