let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
