Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
