Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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