Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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