He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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