I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
