Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
