I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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