why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
