I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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