so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
