Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
