We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
