Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
