i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize