I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
