you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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