you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
