I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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