you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
