You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
