Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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