Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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