A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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